Motion

If I'm not in motion I have to be singing, otherwise I find myself thinking.
And that is something to worry about indeed it is.
Because I kind of still like my ex-boyfriend but he already has a new girlfriend, and I don't want to break them up because they have so much fun when they are together I don't want to ruin anything because of some stupid form of misplaced jealousy I seem to be suffering from since. We still work together so I see him on a daily bases, I know I sound like I'm looking for advice but I really don't need it, so I go on one day I'll fall in love with some terrific guy. The thing is I always feel fat around guys, I know I'm skinny and all but like with my sheer muscle mass I weigh 140 pounds, so a guy may be stronger than me but I still feel I could kick there ass if I wanted to, my sisters boyfriends I feel like a little girl next to so it's not that bad. Of course both of them could lift me up without flinching or breaking a sweat, either way. My last boyfriend got out of breath when he first picked me up and tried it a few times afterwards, but you could tell with the strain. I don't know what I should do with my love life besides wait around until I accomplish my goals. Although the thing about accomplishing my goals, kind of came to a standstill, when my ex got a new girlfriend which interupted everything, no one knows the truth about why I broke down at the Obs, but that's why it wasn't because of Jim contradicting the things I was saying, I can handle that, but when I looked over at my EB he looked back like 'I'm not going to help you this time' type of look, which we had always been able to communicate like that, when I was explaining something then came for a loss of words, he would step in to complete it, if I looked to him. But it was gone, something I didn't know I relied on so much was gone, nothing can bring it back, and I have to say it was entirely my fault. I was the one to break up with him, but things were still the same then he got a new girlfriend, and I felt like he had been the one to break it off. Now I fear to even look at his girlfriend, for fear she will see and feel sorry for me, I would rather she not hurt him for something I am wishing for but already lost. I'm not to sure about her either, she has been mixed up in the wrong crowd, and now I find that I don't like her. Again I say I don't like her, because of some instinct, jealosy, or the fact that after our teacher repeatedly warned her not to wear revealing clothes, then finally calls her into the office to give her a T-shirt to wear, somewhere in there was mentioned that she had small boobs, which is true, but she had been harping on it for days, and I don't like it, she now might be going to file sexual harassment on our teacher, because the truth was stated, and our teachers have been on the edge of being fired for a while now this would push them over the edge. My EB and I have been on a committee to keep them in there current positions, fat lot that would do if, she did what she plans, then I would have no room for forgiveness, she would feel my full wrath and every rotten trick that's in the book, is in my arsenal. You shouldn't be able to reverse months of work with an agrieved outburst of not liking the truth when someone hands it to you so freely. This is my work, work I give freely because I can, this is my volunteer work, that I have put many hours into, if they get in my way they will pay the price, rotten eggs, in places they ccan't find, but they can sure as hell smell them....
Okay done with the melodramatics, I just don't like stupid people, That is all.